One Breath at a Time

For instant enlightenment, this is the test: Can you love during ever-increasing heaven and hell? David Deida

It's all very easy to talk about spirituality in the comfort of your living room or while attending a spiritual retreat where everyone is in bliss and enjoying three cooked meals a day. But life usually isn't so benign. What do you do when your partner has stormed out the door saying they are leaving? What do you do when you've just found out you have cancer? What do you do when you're totally miserable while stuck in a metal tube flying through the air at 400 miles an hour?

This thought came to me as I leaned forward with my head against the curve of the fuselage, my feet planted apart, while peeing in the lavoratory 37,000' above the ocean. It seems like the umpteenth time I've peed since we took off five hours ago.

Suddenly the floor bounces underneath me. Oh No, please not now.

"Return to your seats and fasten your seat belts," comes the voice over the intercom.

Still feeling like I need to pee more, I zip up my trousers and wash my hands. The face in the mirror looks bleary and red-eyed. I open the bi-fold door, cursing its flimsy construction, and make my way back down the narrow aisle like a sailor in a storm-tossed sea. As I fasten my seat belt, my whole body resists being crammed into the narrow, hard seat. My tailbone hurts, my eyes burn, my belly is distended, my feet are swollen, my mind is in a fog -- not quite the romantic image of flying "The Friendly Skies".

I imagine the Dalai Lama on one of his 18-hour trips around the globe -- dictating a new book, conferring with advisors, writing corresponence, preparing to meet with heads of state, meditating for hours on end. How does he do it?

Not by having two glasses of wine, as I just did. It's been a rough trip.

I'm flying 5,000 miles back to my home in Hawaii after a visit to the east coast in December. I thought I was going to freeze to death. I went from healthy to being sick in 24 hours. Before I knew it, my sense of equanimity and peace were out the window. Awakened or not, life has a way of throwing things at us to see if we're still identifying with ego or not.

Wow, did I get caught.

What can we do in these situations when life is not giving us what we want?

My way of handling it is "one breath at a time."

I sit back in the seat and close my eyes. I let myself become aware of all the physical and emotional discomfort. I drop all resistance and stay with the unpleasant feelings.

I repeat to myself -- breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out -- with each in-breath and out-breath.

Who is it that is having these thoughts? Who is it that is feeling this discomfort?

Joy comes and goes, pain comes and goes, suffering comes and goes. What is it that doesn't come and go?

Ahhh . . . something shifts inside and lets go.

None of this helps my sore behind or my burning eyes, but it does give me some peace of mind.

One breath at a time.

Finally the words I've been waiting for: "Ladies and gentlemen, we will be landing in Maui in approximately twenty minutes . . ."