A Visit from the Other Side
Dragonflies were Linda’s totem animal. They would often fly up to her and hover in front of her, or land on her hand and remain still while she spoke softly to them. Linda could sit by the pond for hours watching a new dragonfly hatch on a water lily. Dragonflies, those ancient creatures of the wind, were a symbol of love and freedom for her.
Today I was walking across the living room when I noticed something on the floor. To my surprise, I saw that it was a large dragonfly and it was injured. Its abdomen (the elongated part of its body) had been crushed and it couldn’t fly. As I gently picked it up, I noticed that it was lying just a few feet away from the exact point where Linda left her body. To my shock, I realized that it was six weeks ago today that Linda died.
I carried it out to the pond and placed it in a spot where I hoped it would heal and fly off. As I looked at it more closely, I was stunning by its beauty. It had two sets of transparent wings at least five inches across. The central part of its thorax was a rich emerald green, tapering off to a luminescent metallic blue tip. It moved about on its three pairs of legs, but was clearly too weak to fly. I prayed for its healing and left it in its natural setting.
When I checked on it a few hours later, it was dead. It was 2:00 PM, almost exactly the time of Linda’s death.
Of course, it could have been a random dragonfly that just happened to fly into the living room and land on the floor injured, but what are the chances of that? I feel that it was Linda letting me know that she is watching out over me, and that she is always and ever present for me.
I’m sure she’s happy to know how well I’m doing, even though I miss her terribly. On Saturday mornings I’ve been swimming a mile down Baldwin Beach with my swimming buddies. Last Sunday I did stand-up paddling for the first time and loved it. I joined Upcountry Fitness, a local gym in Haiku, where I’ve been doing yoga and Qi Gong. I also spend time with friends, go for hikes with the boys, and write every day. Most importantly, I make sure to have quiet time alone every day. It feels like my life is rich and full.
Every so often I get hit by something out of the blue, like finding a blond hair stuck to a clothespin when I’m hanging out the laundry. Yesterday I was balancing the checkbook and came across a check Linda had written on the last day she was alive. Today I found a birthday card that I had written on August 3: To my dearest love, A celebration of another year together and the magical angels that brought you into my life. I hold the vision of us sitting on the lanai, both in indescribable peace. What joy and love you have brought into my life. I’ll love you forever . .
.
I let the feelings move through, and then I remember that Linda is free of her form, just like the dragonfly, soaring through the air, sending me love and joy from the formless.
